A Break in the Clouds

“So why do you feel this way, Gabriel?”

I don’t know.

I try really hard to stay positive and

And to like look on the bright side but then my brain

Just it gets all fast and you know I

I think of all the bad things happening in the world right now and I

Feel like I'm not allowed to be sad

at a time like this

I don’t know.

I don’t always feel sad.

Sometimes just...

Empty

Like I'm stuck on a level

That everyone has passed already so I'm

Alone and I

I get so frustrated because it looks like it

was so easy for the others and I

Get anxious because I

am falling behind while people

Are winning trophies and getting medals

While I'm still at stage one

So, he sends me home with my prescription and tells me to

sleep on it some more

And to change my diet

But I

I've stopped trying to make it work

I’ve been waiting for months?

No years.

For proof

that

That there’s something to even live

For. I just need like,

A sign.

Anything.

Dear God,

I need a friend.

That's what I asked for at my window that night

And I looked up to the night sky

That's it;

A break in the clouds.

A shooting star.

Or was that a plane?

No. it’s coming closer I

Think it's on fire

An asteroid? Meteor?

Honestly, I don’t know the difference but it’s getting closer and closer to my backyard, and I don’t think it’s safe to be this close to the window and I think maybe it is a plane after all no it can’t be because it’s too small, but it's definitely made of metal and I

I hear a great “BOOM” and so I crouch

Under my window

Then I get up and look out to my backyard

It's a spaceship I guess.

This little guy comes out

He's got four arms and

These antennae things

So obviously it’s an alien

I guess I got my wish

He needs help getting back home

But his ship is all busted, so I let him stay in my room.

He eats cereal with me in the morning

We went to the dollar store to find some materials to rebuild the ship

It’s all I can afford

We don’t find anything useful

He plays around in the toy aisle

and I get a coke and some off-brand Froot Loops

We eat the Fruit Rings in my backyard

Apparently, it’s really good compared to what they eat on his planet

Which makes me feel kinda good

Because I like cereal

and I always feel bad eating dollar store food

Because it’s cheap and I guess there’s better food

out there but

I don’t know it just tastes the best

He notes the color of the flowers on earth.

Thinks they’re so beautiful and delicate

Which I guess is true.

I never really noticed flowers before because

Well, I don’t know why not.

But they are very pretty, and I

guess I'll try to notice them more now

He also really likes my house.

He says all houses are the same back home and that mine is unique

I tell him that there’s a lot of different houses

And that some people live in these sick big houses called mansions

But also, that some people don’t have a house

at all

I think homelessness made him sad

I mean it makes me sad, too.

So, I showed him some pictures of German architecture

to make him feel better

guess his planet must suck pretty badly

Bad food and no flowers,

I mean. We talked for the whole day

I look up at the stars

I haven’t even opened my coke.

I can’t help him tomorrow,

I've got therapy in the morning

But he sees my coke and gets an idea

He pours the cola in the fuel tank

Because I guess the ingredients are the same as space gasoline

And he rips up the can

I went to get some superglue

but when I got back, he’d already soldered the aluminum to the ship

I do not know how.

Before he leaves,

I ask him if he knows how to not be sad all the time

Like,

he's the one good thing I’ve seen in a while.

Why am I doomed to loneliness?

He gets very confused

“You’re not doomed”

And he was like,

“Gabriel,

Good things come and go because

If they stayed forever,

They wouldn’t mean so much to you.

Day to night,

Sun to storm,

Birth to death,

Life is cyclical.

All you can do is adapt.

Besides,

You can always write.”

And he hands me some envelopes

With these weird space stamps on them

So, he leaves.

And I'm tired because

I have therapy in the morning

“And does making up these stories help you to process your emotions?”

I’m not making it up.

This happened last night.

He sighs

and checks his watch

and flips the sheet of paper on his clipboard

“Unfortunately, we’re out of time for this session”

I guess he let me talk for the extra three minutes

“We’ll pick this back up Thursday.

I’m excited to hear all about your next adventure.”

I don’t know why he didn’t believe me

I can’t make things up like that

Why would I be paying for therapy if I could just

Imagine that an alien came down and solved all my problems

Anyway, thanks for the advice.

I agree with you that life is ciclacel

cyclel

clycial

That life is a cycle

You helped me awaken from this dream of perfection.

Living,

life.

I guess it's more like a river you know

It ebbs and flows

Or a roller coaster

Or something else that kinda goes up and down

I

I'll write again soon. - Gabe